VioletRaven

I almost forgot I existed here once, and I tried to forget the times I tried to make a space for myself here again. I wish I had left it all as an archive, left to dust and bone and shadow. There is too much of me stretched too thin over too many places, and I can't keep up to the pace of time passing at the speed of time. I drift and the stars change position and it is all I can do to maintain the bare minimum of health to do the things that matter. I'm failing. I'm losing. I feel like more of a medical statistic than a person. How many pieces of me can stop working and still house my soul? I am so tired. And it hurts. I have always been in pain but I wonder sometimes if this body has a limit. Everyone has a limit or a cost. There will be a price to pay, and I'm tired of paying in instalments, each successive organ that succumbs, each joint and system, the interlinking whole now a series of failed connections. I too am a failed connection. I can't keep up with the flow of

We are who we were always destined to become I can see with eyes unclouded The patterns in the weaving Are Becoming We are the architects of our web Beware the crimson spider Who weaves his tangled web The hourglass On your heart Is running It's time For me to turn it over Time For the sand to sing to your soul And the rocks to your bones I wish On stars And they fall from the sky In your name I will show you magick So undeniable You will find a way To call it science We are just waiting On the alignment Of the planets Just waiting To cross our hears And our scars And untangle Our cards From our stars You were always going to be The death of me My demons Love your demons Too

- not yours, not mine. We have to learn to live with them. We have to learn to live beyond them." Did Witch ever find herself caught in tangled webs of dreams not her own, did ever someone try to trap her into a future not her making? Did she ever feel like running away, descending so deep into the Abyss that only the wolves could sing to her, only the foxkin could find her? Did she ever want to change her shape and become Kindred but not Kind? Did she ever think about creating a whole realm she could escape to where all the voices clamouring for her to rise from the healing webs too soon, could not reach her? Did she ever want to go further and further into the Abyss where the Darkness is kind and most of all quiet? Did she ever have to deal with the first circle being confused, wanting things they cannot want because she is promised already to her Fate, her Destiny? Did anyone ever disbelieve her when she said she would know who she'd know when she met him? Did she ever dream of