I wanted to have uploaded my latest 3 pieces by now but everytime I set a time to finish them I decide i want to work a little more. What started out as a 20 imnute sketch has turned into 3 hours of a self portrait. It's very much a learning process for me as i haven't used photoshop so extensively for painting before and I'm more familiar with the tools for photographic manipulation.
In addition there are a couple of fan arts I suppose they would be called for Aciendar from his story that I want to get just-right before I show them, and additionally I have the 2 photos for contests i want to enter.

Creatively I am quite active at the moment although in all other ways I have become lethargic and unmotivated. My weight's just staying stable, it's really all I can do to stop it going down; I can't bring myserlf to concentrate on gaining when my head isn't in the right place and I have such financial stress. I feel like I'm making excuses but actually it is an achievement and if I can't take pride in it now I hope that I will look back in a few weeks with gratitude that I haven't made more work for myself by taking a step back.

I want to fix the whole world. I want to pull the strings and connect the dots but I'm not the matchmaker and I have to stand back and watch the fates of those around me play out as they choose the paths they take. I cannot see my own path.

I have said goodbye to a friend, before I even relised that's what she's become. I am proud to tears of my fellow inmates, but the path beyond the locked door is harder than any I've known. How many of us can survive?

I wont be cured for Christmas. I'm giving up on that aspiration early. All I want is to keep going and try to hold onto those silver-lining monents taht make it all worthwhile.